How do you go about apologizing to people when your email account gets hacked? It’s not exactly my fault but it’s still pretty hawkward. I have this Hotmail account that I haven’t used in eons, and apparently it’s been sending out loads of spam to the contacts I had in high school, including teachers. Ugh. But since I don’t use that email anymore, I didn’t know about the hack-age until someone told me. So I’m not really sure what to do. Ignore it and assume everyone knows what junk mail is by now? Send out a mass clarification email? Post something on Facebook (last resort)? I guess a message could go something like this:
Dear AP History class of 2006-2007,
I’m really sorry that my hacked Hotmail account tried to sell you penis pills. I never use that account anymore so I had no idea. Sorry. I’m sure all of your penises are just fine. Maybe they’re even bigger now! Who knows? What about that James Buchanan, huh?
I’m told the reason it remains illegal to raise chickens in Iowa City, where I live, is because Iowans moved to our relatively cosmopolitan college town to get away from the country people and, by extension, their chickens. Twentysomethings from bigger cities, where it is fashionable to raise your own chicks and harvest fresh eggs and place them decorously on gingham dish towels, come to Iowa thinking they will live the country life for a little while, only to find their neighbors shutting them down. I mention this by way of explaining my first impression of the 400 people who came to see Mitt Romney in a hotel in Davenport, Iowa, on Tuesday night: These are the people who would call the police on your illegal chickens.
This New Year’s, there’s no excuse to drink and drive or ride with anybody who does. AAA is offering a service called Tipsy Tow to ensure that revelers get home safely. From 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. on New Year’s Eve/Day, they will take you AND your car home for FREE. Save this number in your phone: 1-800-222-4357. You don’t have to be a AAA member to call.
“I’ve just kind of stopped doing everything. I never change the channel in my trailer. I just watch reruns of House of Payne and Two and a Half Men. I love Cops, I think it’s my favorite TV show. God, I sound like such a loser.”—Robert Pattinson (via rpattztalks)
I finally got to see the lights in downtown Portland tonight. It was nice; felt like home. Also finished a little reading. And because my parents are far too generous around the holidays and always, I’m now the giddy owner of a new iPad. I’ve started about 39751 games of Words With Friends and downloaded some newspapers. Not sure what else to do, but I’m excited. Any suggestions? Favorite apps? Do tell.
So if my birth control is any indicator, my period is set to coincide exactly with my exit exams. Which is excellent, because there’s nothing like being on the brink of a nervous breakdown to really get those creative juices flowing during long-answer questions about literary form.
“I like to see people reunited, I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can’t tell fast enough, the ears that aren’t big enough, the eyes that can’t take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone.”—Jonathan Safran Foer (via fleurishes)
One of the most important rules of comedy is that it’s always easier to make fun of the guy with power than the guy without. This is especially true in American comedy, since we as a people hold such an affinity and respect for underdogs. For every one joke, sketch, or sitcom about a competent boss with incompetent employees, there are 50 jokes that are the exact opposite. We like seeing authority figures look foolish, and we don’t like making fun of “the little guy.” This paradigm puts conservative comedy at a disadvantage from the beginning… That’s why there was so much focus on the racial tinge of the Tea Party. It’s easy to make fun of racist white people since whites have the power. It’s not so easy making fun of some grandmother who just doesn’t like losing all her money to unnecessary taxes. (Read more)
I also find that really good comedy, especially political satire, relies on a certain set of progressive cultural mores: a woman’s right to choose, minority rights, gay rights, immigrant rights. Conservatism, on the other hand, which tends toward the reactionary and retrograde almost by definition, is incompatible with this kind of humor.